Ever have one of hose night where you so can not sleep? I am having one of those now. Its 4am, I can't sleep, not even tired & have been trying to sleep since 1am. I keep thinking about how to rearrange the furniture in my room, what I am going to make when I get up, (I.E. bread, cookies, cake....), that I need to finish the laundry, (so am ignoring that comment right now, my washer knows my whole name & is telling me to rinse the whites), sigh, all the things I want to do this week before going to Mom's for the holidays & on top of all that, (as if that was not enough) I am think about starting college not month.
I have never been to college so this should be interesting. I am the whole gambit of emotions on the subject. I want to go, I so don't want to go & so on & so forth. I grew up in a small town in northern MN. I had teachers that should have retired a long time before I was there student. I was abused like the rest & a little more then most. I was told I would never be anything, I had my hand slammed into a book & then leaned on all by the every people that were suppose to inspire me to do my "best" & to become something more then I was. I have these thoughts running through my head as I think about going back to school. I know everyone tells you that its different when your in college & the rational part of my mind is telling the side of my mind that is my mother's voice (the source of all negativity & paranoid thoughts in my mind) that everything will be different, I still can hear her whispering "their all out to get you" (I never did find out who this their was). I know that "their" not out to get me, they don't even know who I am, so how are they out to get me? LOL! I am happy. I am as healthy as a person my age can get. I just need to find a cure for insomnia that does not mean taking meds that knock me out, make me feel like a lead wight is in my head & that I have to take every night just to get to sleep. (I know I am demanding right?)
Life:
Current I am not working. I have in the past. I have worked in the IT field for over 10yrs now. I am just going to college to get the stupid (& yes I do think it is stupid) paper saying that I can do what I have been doing for the past 10+ years. I live in the southern part of the twin cities in MN. I have a sister, a brother, couple of sister-in-laws, a brother-in-law & a "soon to be, maybe, kinda" brother-in-law. My sister is 6.5 years & one day older then me, my brother is 3 years younger then me. He is about to be a father, my sisters are talking about have children & my own clock is not even ticking. (More like running away screaming "No! Oh, H$^*( NO!). I have a buldmastive that says he's my baby just ask him. I am married to my childhood sweetheart & the love of my life. (Mushy alert!) Ever have a person in your life that just made such an impression that anyone else that tried to take their place had to live up to that person? That's my Clay. He was the one all the other guys had to try to measure up to, but never did. He has high morel standards & values that most people cannot live out everyday like he does. Its one of the reasons I respect & love him so much & at the same time want to beat him over the head for. LOL! I can live up to those standard & most of the time out do them.
Right now: I am playing around the idea of starting up a bakery. I love cooking & watching people eat my food, I just don't want to get burnt out on the whole idea of cooking.
Cooking:
I am an avid cook. I make almost everything from scratch that I eat. I have over 100 cook books (told you I love books) & some are from the turn of the century. I am tasked with making a rum cake for Christmas dinner. I have never made one but whats life without trying new food right? I started going through all my cook books for a recipe that spoke to me. I went through Betty Crocker, Better homes & garden (So did not have just a plain rum cake.), better house wives, the list went on & on, I even emailed a few alternatives to a rum cake to said party to see if I could get out of making the cake, but sadly all other ideas were quickly shot down like a pink duck during hunting season. Then I came across a ginger rum cake. Eureka! I will make a rum cake, but with one simple twist that should help with the drunken part of the cake. Ginger. So simple, so warming, so helping with the ill affects of this cake. I had it at last. Then I read the recipe all the way though. I had to start the recipe a week in advance. Sigh, here goes. I got my hands on ginger root (about the size of my palm), & then I got a bottle of spiced rum (about 1.5c worth). I peeled & thinly sliced the ginger into a jar. I then pored the rum over the lot & then the top. I have to shake this jar one a day for one week, but I find myself shaking it at lest 3-4 times a day, the ginger floats in the rum. I plan on making the cake at my mother's house, I just don't know how well it will go, but I will give it the old college try. :D
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