01/30/2011

K, so I bit the bullet & took my HTML test I did a lot better then I thought I would have. I guess rereading everything & trivial knowledge about the internet really pays off! LOL! I have to stop doing this to myself when it comes to stuff I don't know that well. I have to quit beating myself up for not knowing everything & just take a deep breath. If I would have known it was going to be like this I so feel like kicking myself for putting it off. I procrastinated to the existent that I had Clay help me turn the upstairs bedroom completely around. (I have been planing on doing it for a while now. If thats any justification. No? oh ok.)I have to have more confidence in myself. I have to stop running when I don't know something or I think its too hard. I can do anything. I know I can do anything, I just have to tell the little voice in my head to shut up & go away. I have a fear of succeeding. Any time I do really well I keep thinking something worse is going to happen to me. Like I have to pay the balance in for having something good happen to me. I know that thats not the case. I know this rationally but its still there whispering in my ear saying something awful is going to happen, you know its going to happen, so plan for it to happen. I try not to but its hard.I just have to woman up & take it like a girl. I know this is something I waned to learn anyway & its not that hard with the books I have now. Its just trying to figure out what he wants & how he wants it is going to the biggest challenge.

I made oat bread today. Its the easiest bread recipe I have.

Ingredients

	18 oz oat flour (3 cups)
	2 (.25 ounce) packages active dry yeast
	237 mils milk (1 cup)
	296 mils water (1 1/4 cups)
	59 mils honey (1/4 cup)
	44 mils butter or olive oil (3 tablespoons)
	15 mils salt (1 tablespoon)

Preparation

In a mixing bowl, combine 12 oz flour and yeast. In a saucepan, heat milk, water, honey, butter and salt to 120 degrees F-130 degrees F, add the yeast & let proof for 5mins.  Add yeast to flour mixture. Blend on low speed until moistened; beat on medium for 3 minutes. Gradually stir in remaining whole wheat flour and enough of the remaining all-purpose flour to form soft dough. Turn onto a floured surface; knead until smooth and elastic, about 6-8 minutes. Place in a greased bowl, turning once to grease top. Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 1 hour. Punch dough down. Shape into two loaves; place in a greased 8-in. x 4-in. x 2-in. loaf pans. Cover and let rise until doubled, about 1 hour. Bake at 375 degrees F for 40-45 minutes. Remove from pans to cool on wire racks.